disclosure

I have no idea what I’m doing.

I’m a wife but how do I be married? I have a kid but how do I be a mom? I have a brain but how do I think healthily? I have a heart but what does it beat for? I have hands but for what do I use them? I have feet but where do I go?

I don’t know. I can’t pretend to know

any longer.

I can use internet to know,

but he is just as confused as I am.

I can ask all the people swimming around me,

but how can someone who doesn’t know how to swim save a drowning soul?

We’re all pretending we know.

We like to think we know.

Deep down we all know we don’t know. Look at sad. Look at worry. Look at mad and fear and reaching for the remote. the cigarette. the bottle. the pill. the credit card. the pennies. the other person.

Look at

the existence of bombs.

broken hearts.

spilled blood.

Fumbling my way through is not my avenue.

There’s this book called the Bible. the more I know it’s Author and I become what He says, the more I stop stumbling.

There’s this thing, this thing that I never knew existed, before I met Him. It’s called peace. And it’s awesome. Being at peace with God is the best. Living His way by His grace, there’s nothing like it on all the earth. No amount of money, makeup, work, being “good” can compare or purchase this happy, this joy. This joy is a gift. Available to all.

receive by faith.

I have no idea what I’m doing. but God knows exactly what He’s doing.

the only thing I know

is Him.

and I’m okay. ❤

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lush light

fire bulb bursts,

blossoming in the east

like frost-licked crocuses

tasting

spring.

majenta, violet, floral

embers frolic,

dripping and dreaming

fresh mercy.

crisp, pure tweets pierce solitude,

calling dusty sleepers:

Awake!

the King,

enthralled with her beauty

desires

to dance

with His bride.

 

Psalm 45:11

and the king will desire your beauty.

How to Stay Out of Prison

The Israelites were enslaved to the Egyptians. However, God never forgot about them.

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God delivered the Israelites through a servant, Moses. When the Egyptians chased the Israelites, not letting them go, God’s mighty, outstretched arm supernaturally parted the Red Sea. His people could cross through and be free of slavery.

Afterwards, in the wilderness on the way to the Promised land, God continued to take care of the Israelites. He gave them water from a rock and bread from dew. Most of all, His Presence was with them in a pillar of cloud by day and of fire by night. He chose them as His treasured possession. He loved them.

God desired they love Him back through covenant obedience. To listen and obey His voice. To be set apart, holy. To be His. He asked them simply to have faith, despite the wilderness surroundings.

In the same way, all human beings are born into sin. Enslaved to sin. God loves us. So He sent Jesus, His Son, to set us free. Jesus shed His blood by dying in our place on the cross. This is akin to the cross-ing of the Red (blood) sea. God made a way. Jesus is the way to life. For those who cross God’s way, there is freedom.

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—  among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,  so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:1-10

We are saved by grace through faith. Grace is Jesus taking our place on the cross / parting of the Red Sea. Faith is receiving Him as Lord / believing in the wilderness. Faith, our response to God’s grace, is how we remain in Him because He’s set us free. Loving Him back through listening and obeying. Enjoying covenant relationship with the God of the universe!

Remember the Israelites? After God set them free, they had a choice: To believe God and obey, or to disobey. They chose the latter.

The New Testament of the Bible includes warnings for Christians concerning the Israelites:

For I do not want you to be unaware, brothers, that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea,   and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual Rock that followed them, and the Rock was Christ. Nevertheless, with most of them God was not pleased, for they were overthrown  in the wilderness.

Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did. Do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.”  We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put Christ  to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents,  nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer.  Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.

1 Corinthians 10:1-14

 

Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says,

“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,
    on the day of testing in the wilderness,
where your fathers put me to the test
    and saw my works for forty years.
Therefore I was provoked with that generation,
and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart;
    they have not known my ways.’
 As I swore in my wrath,
    ‘They shall not enter my rest.’”

 

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. As it is said,

“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”

 

For who were those who heard and yet rebelled? Was it not all those who left Egypt led by Moses? And with whom was he provoked for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the wilderness?  And to whom did he swear that they would not enter his rest, but to those who were disobedient?  So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief.

Hebrews 3:7-19

Today, all who believe in Jesus are free! We, like the Israelites, have a choice. Will we remain free by obeying, or disobey and fall away?

 

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Soften your heart. Listen to God. Receive His Son, His love and love Him back through obedience! Through following His narrow way: crossing the Red Sea, believing in Jesus.

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Another word for ‘abide’ is ‘remain.’ We must remain in Christ through faith. No matter our feelings, thoughts, or situations. Test and weigh every feeling against Scripture. Take thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. Remember truth no matter what happens. Trials are tests of faith. Remain. Be loved. Love. Give thanks. Enjoy God’s rest.

Stand firm!

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One day, (SOON!) it will allllll be worth it.

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Origins

like all the deep bursting forth

like all the sunrises of time,

crescendoing into a glorious uproar:

Jesus is Lord!

 

until we recognize Jesus as our Maker, there will be

confusion and

disorder within.

 

for years, I sat in

unbelief and

angst.

mentally beating myself

up, insides crying out

for attention.

no matter how

hard I tried

to be satisfied

by this world

and the people,

it left me

dry.

 

when Jesus bled and died,

He defeated

sin and satan.

died so we could live;

took our blame

to set us free.

He rose again

victorious.

now,

ALL and ANY who

come to Jesus,

believing,

are receiving this

freedom and

life.

 

if this dings a chord in

you,

don’t delay:

go to Jesus today!

He will teach you truth.

He will set you free.

He loves you steadfastly.

 

Would anyone else (being spotlessly perfect)

die in the place of their enemy?

…like Jesus died for us.

like love conquered death.

trust, surrender, believe.

 

there’s waterfalls of peace and

tranquility

beyond your craziest hopes:

being satisfied and free.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God.  All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light.

The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own,and his own people did not receive him.  But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.  (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’”) For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.  No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.

John 1:1-18

 

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

Genesis 1:1

 

 

 

 

 

 

a prayer for people

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Lord Jesus,

in an ever changing world, I praise how You never change. In a world of unpredictability, You are sure and faithful. In a world of loss and heartache, I praise You that nothing can separate me from Your love, not even death. You are my eternal comfort. When I feel like no one else understands, You understand perfectly. God, thank You I never need to fear because You are with me. Thank You I have nothing to worry about because You are sovereign. You’re Lord of the past, Lord of the future, God with us now. Help our souls to stop striving, stop trying to do life on our own. There is no life apart from You. Help us receive You and rest in You. You are good. You know what You’re doing. Thank You! in Your name, Amen.

Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angles nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 147:5
His understanding has no limit.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Matthew 1:23
The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God with us’).

Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.

John 14:6
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Psalm 136:1
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.  His love endures forever.