hours curled on the kitchen floor, with each sigh and sniffle willing in sunshine or smiles, a new season, something.
when did life get so frowns and tears?
another tissue box shuffle–full to empty. empty and low. the sidewalks notice me. maybe. that’s how i feel.
flipping through this big, ancient, alive book I find this:
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
starving girl, an outward reflection of inner rejection. shredding myself, acidic mantras beaten into brain grooves deep and foreboding… stupid, ugly, never good
muscles fizz and spasm with unending tension, unable to function. bruised, beaten, distressed.
puffed up mind, torn apart soul
curled like a hedgehog or fallen leaf,
weeping sheepishly on the linoleum tiles
:WHO REDEEMS YOUR LIFE FROM THE PIT
how to hope for a saving hand, when already eleven feet under?
this takes Spirit and love beyond the border of stars and dark.
to believe in God though
death steals hearts near yours and
sickness feeds on your very bone marrow.
starving stomach, do you hope for sustenance
deferred heart, do you thump up to beat a melody, still?
dusty drum set
book spine uncracked
how does the lioness mama crouch to pounce after missing potential dinner twenty times
the healing came like crocuses and acrobat chickadees after a biting arctic melts under raw sun extract.
the rays of sun, like curls of flame, crackled and licked chilly waves of air. wild and unhindered, the fire consumed old chaff of life. Jesus–my Jesus– purifies my heart, electrifying each notebeat to compose a new rhythm, new land. like a tree gracing the forest ceiling, many take solace in His roots, bark, branches.
the healing came slowly then suddenly, and nothing of my own doing. two cross beams nailed across east and west, Jesus hung there for me. lived and died and lived again. gives me life, too. this i know with all the atoms I’m composed of–He loves me.
dancing with the Author, His hand ever extended, Jesus invites you and me out of the pit. redemption.
a free gift.