displaced | replaced

displaced affection, worldly lust and gone the wrong direction. no love for You, no fear of You as Almighty God. i exchanged the truth of God for a lie, an adulterer, I ran, giving my heart to whatever. took cover under the world’s ways, ran far astray. lukewarm and doubleminded—a house divided, unsteady like a wave tossed in the ocean. shame blinded me to grace. i hid. sewing fig leaves to cover my skin and sin, exposed under Your all seeing eyes. here I am, three stories deep in sin, trying to believe that You love me. i’m Your enemy, God! Evil, Lord! i’m totally evil. You see all of my thoughts, how they judge people. how i beat myself up. how i worry. how afraid. You see me sinning. how far i feel.

yet my feelings deceive.

You love me.

if I want proof, i only need the cross. You sent Your Son, Jesus, to be with us. to die for us. to rise. You paid our debt, took our punishment. Your blood’s the only cure for our sin sickness. antidote to death. hallelujah–darkness undone.

as i gaze on You, You’ve always already seen me. saw through my disguise. Your eyes well with compassion, gave Your Son up so i could be free.

the Gospel is for people like me. for the ones who struggle. the ones who feel far away. for the one’s who know they’ve done wrong. messed up. given up on themselves. who know they’ll never be good enough. shame and affliction. fear and addiction. weak. poor in spirit. the Gospel is for us.

Gospel equals good news. Gospel is You made a way to Yourself. Gospel is God wants us. in our distress and angst, God reaches out and pursues. a fierce pursuit of a disobedient and obstinate people. sick with sin and utterly unworthy. yet the Maker of the universe says: I want you. the shed blood of an innocent Saviour: proof of this earth-healing Love!

what is this mercy? i do not deserve this. love so ferocious my sin swept into the ocean. weeping with thankfulness. i’m undone in Your arms. broken apart because you love me! you put my puzzle pieces together but a new picture you form, I’m no longer winter storm but a peaceful willow beside a stream, full of life, full of peace. my life dances praise to the one who ransomed me from my soul’s bleak, cold misery to a life of victory. i lift my eyes to look on You always. now i live not for me but for You. rags for riches. dirt for beauty. Jesus, You’re all i have, all i want. the answer to everything, the risen reigning King. break me open pour me out, living sacrifice. worthy worthy worthy. Only You are worthy! a trillion thank you’s. each breath a song of gratitude.

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Wise Chirps

Jesus has been speaking to me through the birds. He takes care of their every need. If the birds lack nothing, how much more fulfilled am I–a person, of much more value than any bird! 

 I’ve really been struggling with anxiety lately. God meets me in the midst of my whirlwind, speaks gently, reminds me of truth. Speaks through two winged wonders. 

Real talk: worry is real but so is Jesus. With this pregnancy especially, God is asking me to trust. To know He is in control. 

 Whatever your worry thing may be, take time today to stare at some birds. Listen, you may hear God’s peaceful reassurance in those flying, twirling diddies 💕


the only today

the sound of a sunrise
smell of a star
taste of a song
linger in my mind
on the only October sixth two thousand seventeen of all time

the afternoon waxes and wanes like an indecisive moon

somewhere,
taco meat browns
somewhere,
rusted shovel hits rocky dirt
somewhere,
three cars collide

somehow,
dinner disappears
somehow,
seeds take root underground
somehow,
people survive

someone eats,
someone plants,
someone prays

the evening glides away like a boat untied

the sound of a sunset
smell of a star
taste of a song
linger in my mind
on this October sixth two thousand seventeen–the only one of its kind.

Mini moment galaxy 

The world spins in slumber

Suspended like a tranquil cloud

In tepid sky 

People with closed lids

And busy minds

Lie 

Meanwhile time minutes by 

Like a toddler now sipping beer 

Like a tree losing then finding buds 

Life cascades, a concoction of crescendos and valleys

Somewhere in this spanse

One man with thin wire glasses and a goatee 

Steps across sidewalk

Again and again

As dawn slips to dusk 

This quiet chaos 

Ticks on.