Interview with a Giraffe

Famous Interviewer: Hi folks, thanks for tuning in. Today we look at life through a giraffe’s eyeballs.

 So, Giraffe, what are  your musical preferences?

Giraffe: rap to reggae

beatbox to soundtrack

bird hymns to rhino farts

mountain silence

and morning rain

I like it all

brrrinngnghghghgh! brrrinngngngngn!

Giraffe fished his phone out his overalls. Hello? No, I don’t like liver. I told you last Wednesday. Get the organic spam. Ok, fine. Kisses. Bye.

Sorry about that—family emergency.

Famous Interviewer: Naturally. Sooo…do you dance?

Giraffe: Only when the sun sleeps and the stars cry.

Giraffe flicked his tail as if to beckon the night rain.

Famous Interviewer: Who do you dance with?

Giraffe: my wife, Llilacah Shamuupooh Da.

Famous Interviewer: Llilacah Shamuupooh Da! how did you meet her?

Giraffe: On a boat near Peru. She was upchucking the dinner buffet, projectile vomiting off the boat like an arching rainbow. I let her borrow my toothbrush. The rest is history, really. Now we have seven baby iguanas and five infant fish on the way. 

Famous Interviewer: How does that work?

Giraffe: We adopt. Boy do we adore our little loves! Our oldest, Carl Dee Doop, aka Bob, is learning to elongate  his neck so he can eat with us! He enjoys little leaves. 

Speaking of Bob, HEY! Didn’t I tell you not to go near Mr. Alligator’s barber shop?!! Don’t make me count to 3… 1..! 2………….  CARL DEE DOOP!! …..3!

Giraffe lunged off the tv platform, jerking his mic with him and catapulting the camera man feet first over the edge into the swamp. Giraffe barely snatched Bob out of Mr. Alligator’s snapping snout.

Famous Interviewer: …and that’s all for now, folks! tune in next time for how to survive the tundra with my good friend, Eel!!!!!!!


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